The question we should tackle first is, what even is a WAG anyway? I certainly had no clue what it was until I became one over three years ago. So let’s break it down:
W- Wife
A- And
G- Girlfriends
Of professional athletes.
It’s a term you see often – on social media, on TV and in movies. Some of your favorite celebs are WAGS, those including Gisele Budchen, Kate Upton and Camile Kostek. Some WAGs are low-key, hometown high school sweethearts, and some earned their titles along the way.
HOW DO YOU SPOT A WAG?
It differs by sport. In minor league baseball, WAGS are usually dressed head to toe in Lululemon, found in packs of 3-10 with big bags filled with wine and various snacks. Sometimes we’re the girls you see smuggling in Chipotle burrito bowls past stadium security because they are now our good buddies and because we’re too poor to pay for stadium food every night. In other sports, it’s the ones sitting in box seats or court side dressed to the nines in luxury brands and expensive jewelry. It really just depends where you are. For example, if I were to come to a minor league baseball game in upstate New York wearing heels, jeans, a crop top with full hair and makeup I would stick out like a sore thumb. But in LA, I can only imagine NBA WAGs wouldn’t be caught dead showing up to Staples Center in Lulu leggings and a sweatshirt. This is nothing against either variety of WAG, like everything else, it is a culture that you find your place in once you get the hang of it.
HOW DID I BECOME A WAG?
I want to note that this says “how DID I become a wag” NOT “How DO I become a wag?” Very important. And to answer the question, it happened completely by chance with a little help of social media. I dated a few athletes here and there but when I met my now husband, I wasn’t expecting to find the person I settle down and raise a family with, which is where we are now. We met during Spring Training 2017 where I was working and he was playing. When the season ended, I moved back to NYC to start my career in sports and entertainment. I was working 9+ hour days, attending events in the industry every week, with a night (or two) of partying every weekend I was having a great time. On his end, he was sleeping in, heading to the field around noon, “working” till 10 or 11PM every night with little breaks in between. We had totally conflicting schedules and lives that us being together made very little sense, especially on paper. But paper doesn’t know emotion, nor did it know us.
The first time I went to visit him in Oklahoma (a place I never thought I’d ever have to travel to in my life), was when I had my first introduction into WAG life. I arrived at the stadium, went to the press box to pick up my ticket, and made my way to the stands. It was a double header and the stadium was pretty empty, so I decided to sit anywhere. Shortly after, an elderly man with a big smile came over to me and asked me who I belonged to. He knew I was there for a player, even though he’s never seen me before, he just knew. I was hesitant to answer, but his welcoming essence made me feel safe. He escorted me to the players’ wives and girlfriends (WAG) section, which I didn’t know was a thing, and introduced me to everyone. He did all the work. It was like he had seen this movie before a hundred times (which he probably did). He knew how to detect the anxiety I was feeling as I arrived to the stadium knowing I was about to meet a group of new women. For a few short minutes, he took me under his wing and did all the heavy lifting. I will be always grateful for him.
I knew how the minor leagues worked. They played games 7 days a week with little pay and lots of travel, but I didn’t know what my place was going to be in the life.
I met women whose husbands had major league time, women who gave up their own careers they worked hard in, and women who had kids that travelled with them full time and were at every game that season. I learned of other women who had their babies’ mid-season in completely new places. I learned of girls who travel back and forth and keep their jobs back home. I learned of women who- like me- could only get a few days to come visit all summer. It was a shmorgasborg of women who were all making it work with zero judgement for and from others and complete acceptance of what works for them. I was impressed with everyone’s stories and how welcomed I felt sitting in those stands, and even more impressed with everyone’s honesty.
WHAT IS IT LIKE BEING A WAG?
There are all different ways women choose to live their WAG life. Some find working and staying home is what’s best for their relationships. Some travel full time and work jobs in the cities they live in. Some are lucky enough to enjoy the ride and not worry about making money of their own. And others are trying to navigate the ups and downs of professional sports while raising a family. Some come to the field everyday looking to spread light and joy. Some are down for a good time like pre-game margs and in-game wine. Others are quiet and keep to themselves. For me, I’ve yet to travel a full season with my husband due to still trying to see where my career can go, but when I am around, I embrace the WAG life and try to make it comfortable for others too.
ARE ALL WAGS FRIENDS WITH EACH OTHER?
This is a question I get asked often once people start to understand what my lifestyle is like. They ask, “Does everyone get along?” “Do you like everyone?” “Are any of the girls mean?”. It’s a common question that comes from a common experience of being around women. Truthfully, it can be clicky – but so is life. There are clicks in almost every stage of anyone’s life, men included. People who are more alike tend to gravitate together; it’s called the law of attraction. The life can also be a culture shock to people who are just getting the hang of it, as it was for me. If you really think about it, none of us have any reason to be together other than the fact that our significant others all play on the same team. And because I personally hate to have my identity be defined by a man, it was hard for me to internally look past that. I was often filled with immense anxiety and would have to remove myself from situations to calm down. I would worry the girls didn’t like me and that would create problems for the guys on the team. And then I realized two things. This social situation is no different than any other. If I was home in NYC meeting new people, would I ever for a second either not be myself or care if anyone didn’t like me? The answer was ultimately no and once I became okay with that it was easier for me to be myself and to find my place in the stands (literally, that’s where we sit.. everyday.. in groups… drinking wine out of sippy cups.)
HOW DO WAG RELATIONSHIPS DIFFER FROM NORMAL ONES?
To be honest, besides the weird way our years are laid out, the fact that we can only have date night like 5 times in a 6-7 month period, and a lot of our communication is reliant on cell phones, it’s really no different. We make sacrifices that are appropriate for our own relationships. We plan our lives with the people we love. We support each other through every high and every low, the difference being – our highs and lows are often more public than others. We work hard to create a life together, regardless of what happens during the season. We realize that baseball or whatever sport we are a part of is not everything. We know that who we are and how we treat others is what we will leave behind when everything ends.
A NOTE FROM THIS WAG
I find that we are often lumped together as one, but we’re actually all different than each other, just like all girls. We are no better than you and no better than each other. We are a community of people who share something in common, but should always be celebrated for our uniqueness. We are not defined by our men; we are not defined by each other. We are defined by who we choose to be. Our choices are ours and when choosing the decision between love or no love due to any circumstances a life as a significant other in sports brings, we chose love. We don’t define each other based on the success of our significant others. We are sympathetic to each other and can relate to the struggles. We understand each other on a level that our friends from back home often don’t get. And even though we’re all gathered together because of our men’s jobs, we don’t let that define us. We’re strong, independent ladies who choose love and happiness overall, while also knowing our worth in life.
Every single time. And we make it work the best we can.
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