This story was written by Madison with the help of her husband Taylor
My husband Taylor is kind, generous, handsome, funny, smart, caring, and anyone who has ever met him has fallen in love with him (I’m just lucky I got there first).
He is also half black and a semi-towering 6’8” which can be a little intimidating at first glance.
It was early fall, 2015. Taylor and I had just seen, “Straight Outta Compton” together. I don’t remember ever having so many feelings after watching a movie, and so many questions. Two years earlier, three women, Alicia Garza, Patrisse Cullors, Opal Tometi, started the Black Lives Matter movement. I had heard about it, but didn’t know much. I was ignorant to the facts behind it and only saw the destruction it seemed to be causing at the time. I couldn’t understand why it was Black Lives Matter when all lives should matter, right?
After watching the movie, Taylor and I went to a restaurant for dinner. As we sat there, I finally decided to ask him some questions. I prefaced it with, “I know I am going to sound silly, and I may say some things I shouldn’t, but I feel like I need to know, I need to understand the best I can.” We sat there and talked for three hours. He listened to my questions, as ignorant as some of them were, and patiently explained to me and helped me understand.
When I got home that night, I cried. For the first time ever, it made sense.
Black Lives Matter was never created to lower anyone. It was created to raise those who have been beaten down for so long. It was created to give voice and strength to those who felt like they never had any before. It was created because what was happening to people of color was not okay.
Over the next five years of our relationship, Taylor has taught me more than I could’ve ever learned on my own, with many of our conversations involving race. I have been able to ask him any question I have under the sun with no judgement, simply met with understanding and explanations. Through our conversations, he has given me insight on so much about his race and brought me into his perspective of being a half black man.
Having these conversations made me realize that it is hard for me to speak on these terms because am a white female. I have privilege.
For the longest time I felt I had no right to have an opinion on the matter of race because I don’t know what it’s like and I can never truly know what it is like. I knew I loved my husband, I knew I had minority friends and students that I love with all my heart, but I never felt I had a platform. What can I say that could change what anyone thinks? I am a white female. I don’t live the experience of racial injustices.
But, here is what I do understand. This is not okay. Nothing about this is okay. I get uncomfortable watching the riots because I know why it’s happening, people feel it is time to finally fight back and I know that we need to fight back. We live in such an unfair society. I am not saying we will ever be perfect, but there is a need for change. I know I love so many people who have been racially profiled and taken advantage of. I know this is not what God wanted when he put his children on this earth. This. Is. Not. Okay.
I stand with my husband. I will protect my husband. I will always have his back, my friends’ backs, and my family’s backs. It hurts that I feel I need to say it out loud, but I am understanding now. I understand what I am supposed to do. I will support those I love, stand with them, and help them combat the inequalities they face with the racial injustices that still live today.
I want a future where my husband and my kids feel safe. I want a future where I can allow my children to go out on their own and not fear for their lives.
This is not okay. We can, we must, do better.
With love always,
Madison (Belmondo) Jones
@belmondolifestyle
babeswhoball.com 