7 years of interviewing and working in my field and I’ve recently experienced the worst interview ever.
In the past, I’ve often looked back on interviews as valuable learning experiences that helped me see what I was really looking for from a job and what not to do, even if I wasn’t completely confident in the interview itself. Whether the company culture reflected what was sold to me, or the role was as easy or difficult as was promised, interviewing was never a point of contention in my career. Until the most recent interview that’s left me in a Carrie Bradshaw like funk wondering if I could possibly be alone.
Going through this, I thought it was valuable to identify the possible no-no’s I witnessed during this specific interview process. Think of this as a cheat sheet on how to spot red flags companies will present to you before you even take the job. These red flags will often present themselves between the lines, so it’s important to be diligent, pay attention, and keep in mind exactly what you want and know you can handle. And of course, know your worth.
The interviewer brags about themselves: If you notice the job interviewer bragging more about themselves than the people who surround them or the company itself, you are probably going to be working for some level of a narcissist. “Most people think they’re motivated and hustlers until they meet me.” was verbatim what was said to me during the interview. This proves right off the bat that accountability and teamwork will not be present, no matter how many times they try to sell it to you.
Information from the job posting is actually different from discussed: Before I scheduled a video interview a form of “pre-interview” was conducted. During this, salary, why I was looking for a new job, why I would be a good fit, and similar questions were discussed. The answers I provided were sufficient enough to move forward with a formal video interview. During the video interview, I wanted clarity on a salary question based on something that was presented to me during the pre-interview. “I never said that, so I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” was not the response I was expecting considering it was said and I have it in writing. Deceitful behavior like that from the absolute beginning is an intensely obvious red flag, especially in regards to salary.
Going into a job interview, you should do your research on the position, the company, competing companies, and the average salary offered based on the role and location of the position. Compensation discussions can feel awkward as they were definitely part of the interview process that made me the most uncomfortable at the beginning of my career. As it progressed and I became more comfortable and confident with what I’m worth, the confidence to have the conversation, and the standard I set for myself came hand in hand. I was told by the CEO of this company that $42,000 is the starting salary for a mid-level social media manager in New York City and by the grace of their hearts, they offer a $5K increase from the average for this role. According to Glassdoor, the average mid-level social media manager salary in NYC is $56K, almost $10K more than what they said to be true. Built-In-NYC, a website that posts job and company information for businesses based in New York, has the medium social media manager salary at $65K. Trying to convince people (especially people with previous experience) they should be paid well below industry standards is a popular tactic that we babes will not be falling for anymore.
They start psychoanalyzing you: If the job interviewer is more interested in trying to tell you who you are than understand who you are based on the information you’ve presented, red flags are flying. “I think you should focus on your family and whatever it is you’re doing now,” was how this interview ended. A lecture from a man telling me what I should and shouldn’t be doing with my career. What I am currently doing with my career is trying to pick up the pieces of my family who’s been hit hard by a global health crisis completely out of our control. What I am doing now is believing in myself and what I am capable of, which is why we are currently speaking. No one should be psychoanalyzing or telling you what to do with your life after 15 minutes of very narrow conversation. This is an obvious character flaw reflecting on the culture of the company and classic mansplaining.
I am all for constructive criticism and recommendations. The most I have grown in my career is from my failures, misjudgments, and shortcomings. To present it as an ingenue attack on who I am based on a 15-minute conversation is not normal and should not be happening during any job interview. I am also totally fine if I might not be the right person for any role, it’s happened in the past and it will happen again, but there is absolutely no reason it should become personal enough to feel like you’re being told who you are and what you should do by someone who does not now you or your circumstances.
They use any personal information shared against you: This is the first job interview I’ve had as a mother. My dad was a recruiter for 3 years and worked with many working moms to help place them in jobs that were right for them. This gave me the confidence to make the decision of being forthright about my growing family. Up until this moment I was under the impression that normal companies won’t mind what extracurricular activities you have, as long as you are the right fit for the job. I made the decision to be open about my motherhood because I needed to make sure any role I accept is going to be one that has flexibility. I specifically asked, “If my daughter has a fever, I want to be sure I’m in a role where I can say I need to run her to the doctor for an hour and not have it be a point of contention or questioning my dedication to the job.” The answer to my question was met with complete assurance that those things are accepted in their company culture and that would never be an issue as long as there is communication, something I was happy to hear. That was later contradicted with statements like, “if you don’t live breathe, and die this job, you won’t be successful,” in reference to my motherhood being brought up again. As well, I was met with narcissistically degrading comments like, “if you don’t bring the energy and the hustle that I bring, you won’t be good at this job” And of course, the recommendation to focus on my family, all because I proposed the possible situation of having to bring my daughter to the doctor. *After talking with peers, this is actually illegal behavior that discriminates against working mothers so even grosser on their end.*
They set unrealistic expectations: “I want someone to come in ready to start this job on third base,” he said. Little did he know he was talking to a baseball girl. I am still slightly unsure of what that means exactly, but can only imagine based on how things were going it was in reference to unrealistic expectations being set for immediate success in this role. Any role I’ve ever had has always had a training period as well as a learning curve. These periods are normal because human beings aren’t robots programmed to know everything and anything at all times. The analogy of being on third base came after I was complimented on having great experience for the role itself. I have great experience, but only enough experience to maybe be on first base, definitely not third. Anyone who has worked a job for at least a year will tell you it takes a week at minimum to learn everyone’s names, and at least 3 months to even attempt to gauge success and become comfortable in a role. The idea that you have to “start on third” is a very clear way of saying there is very little tolerance and patience for learning this role, a very inhumane way to look at your employees.
Things they are saying aren’t adding up: When I asked the simple question of, “do you think your employees work to live or live to work” in regards to the conversation shifting to the idea of work-life balance, I could not get a straight answer. The wishy-washy response of yes and no statements like, “I don’t like the idea of work-life-balance” or, “you should be good at your job and want to work your ass off,” followed by, “I want my employees to go for hikes and hang with their kids and enjoy themselves,” made it hard for me to get a clear answer. It’s a very simple question. Either you value the lives of your employees or you don’t. The fact that I couldn’t get a concrete answer to a very important question was enough to steer me far away from this position, even if it was offered to me.
They waste your time: By the end of the interview, it was already expressed they weren’t going to hire me because I am not currently in New York and have not had clients in the beverage industry. You could imagine my confusion considering the job post specifically stated “remote okay” due to a global pandemic that has displaced millions of people and made large gatherings of people in offices very dangerous. I also never claimed to have any experience in the beverage industry which not only wasn’t mentioned as a “must-have” on the job posing but didn’t seem to be a problem during the pre-interview process. Previous passive compliments made in regards to my resume just moments before this exclamation would implicate it was known I had no direct experience with the beverage industry leaving me to wonder why this interview even happened in the first place? It is so important to know that your time interviewing is as valuable as the person conducting the interviews. We are told to be respectful during the job hunt process. We must say our pleases and thanks, dot our I’s, and present our best selves with absolutely no responsibility or pressure to do the same on the opposite end. Having your time wasted is a huge no-no in business, that same standard should be present to everyone involved during this process.
There’s a lack of humanity present in the workplace right now. Way too many people are living to work instead of working to live, that new normal has been set. We shouldn’t be justifying the way we are treated in the workplace because we are getting a paycheck. We need to value ourselves enough, especially women, to sift through the bullshit and accept only what we deserve.
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